Archive for May, 2007

George W Bush Builds Time Machine

May 29, 2007 1 Comment

In what Democrats are labelling “pork barrel spending at its worst”, George W Bush was granted $2.5 trillion from the Federal Emergency Preparedness Act to finish work on his time machine. Senator Ted Kennedy stated, “we already have a great financial burden on our country due to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Although a ...

Worshipers Flock As Bea Arthur’s Head Survives Cremation

May 29, 2007 1 Comment

Thousands of people flocked to the Main Street Crematorium in New York this past weekend to worship the dismembered head of Beatrice Arthur.

Your Horoscope

Aries - You’ll be disappointed to find that you’re identified in the Newer Testament only as “Third Man On...

New Children’s Show “No Clownin’ Around” Teaches Kids About Firearms Safety

The new television show “No Clownin’ Around” produced by the Children’s Television Workshop and broadcast on PBS is receiving...

Franklin Graham’s Wife Changes Name to Franklin Graham

Franklin Graham, son of famed minister Billy Graham and Southern Baptist evangelical, has formally requested and been granted that...

Vin Diesel Stars In New Bisexual Action Romp 2 Bi 2 Curious

In what he describes as “Getting back to my roots”, Vin Diesel has begun work on the sequel to...

Teen Intimidates Gang Members With Black Muscles

Harry Jameson, picture above, was tired of gang members controlling his neighbourhood so he decided to do what the...

Emo Waldo Writes Song About Being Invisible

Waldo, most well known for his appearances in the Where’s Waldo book series, is releasing an album this week...

Larry King Smokes Vans Shoe In Last Grasp At Youth

Larry King, above right, is pictured smoking a Limited Edition Vans TNT skating shoe with his friend Chico Calzone...

Britney’s Teen Sister’s Fetus Pregant

Britney Spears' teen sister Jamie Lynn Spear's fetus has announced that she has become pregnant at the tender age...

New DVD Release of Fried Green Tomatoes Reveals Original Secret Cast

A new DVD release of Fried Green Tomatoes released by Turner Classic Movies this Thursday reveals that in the...

Linens ‘N Things Unveils New Store Design For Men

Linens ‘N Things, a company that has spent the last several decades catering to the domestic desires of women...